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Did I “OPT-OUT”?      It’s 6:30 in the morning and I’m sitting at the breakfast table reading the morning paper and having my first cup of half caf coffee (we’ll touch on that later), when I come across an article of particular interest – “ Stay at Home Moms” . I’m somewhat excited about the recognition, making the front page of the Washington Post (lower left corner), and yet somewhat cautious of the premise. My 'caution ' was warranted. Apparently, there was a recent study done that indicated that stay-at-home moms tended to be younger ( than what? ) and less educated (than whom? ). "Hello", I don’t recall anyone knocking on my door or the door of a number of sophisticated, mature acquaintances of mine who just happen to have ' opted out ' of traditional employment.       The funny thing was the timing of this article. Its been nearly a year since I took my 'leave ' to become a full-time MOM , and was finally coming to terms with my deci...

When god gave women the ability to bear children, some would also say that god gave us the privilege to bear children. It wasn’t until I first held our son did I really come to that recognition. Sure, after two hours of intense labor and equally intense bitter rage, I swore to whoever would listen, especially my husband , that I was NOT going through that again. And I know I’m not alone in that thought process.       But, there I was, not two years later, pushing out number 2. I have to say, the thought did occur to us to consider number 3. But after some head-banging, we realized that even though we assumed we would have the necessary stamina at 45 ( very debatable now ), would we really WANT to force the issue at 50? I have to admit, though, I just loved being pregnant. I loved feeling my belly as it grew and maneuvered around. I loved the anticipation of a newborn. I loved reading each chapter of What to Expect When You’re Expecting dutifully following with ...

Next Chapter....continued Is Fifty REALLY the new 30….      Did you ever think there would come a time when you reached an age when certain options were no longer ADVISABLE? I remember when my mom first recognized that her age no longer fit in an 'age specific' bracket – you know the one – “ please check appropriate age bracket: 0-15 16-25, 26-40, 41-50, over 50” . She couldn’t believe that she was now in the 'over' segment. We laughed, and laughed. Well, look who’s laughing now.       I really do think it's time for a new bracket (s). I’m going to speak to my friend at AARP about that. After all, 50 is the new 30 , and I still have two kids in elementary school. When my mom turned 50, I was already 24, and I was the baby of the family. I WAS 24??? When I turn 50, Sidney (our baby) will be 9. That’s an age spread of 15 years between my age then and Sidney’s age now. That’s unbelievable. What was my mother thinking? Or, what was I waiting for?...

It’s 6:30 in the morning and I’m sitting at the breakfast table reading the morning paper and having my first cup of “half caf” coffee (we’ll touch on that later), when I come across an article of particular interest – “ Stay at Home Moms ”. I’m somewhat excited about the recognition, making the front page of the Post (lower left corner), and yet somewhat cautious of the premise. My “ caution ” was warranted. Apparently, there was a recent study done that indicated that stay-at-home moms tended to be younger (than what?) and less educated . Hello, I don’t recall anyone knocking on my door or the door of a number of “sophisticated", "mature” acquaintances of mine who just happen to have “ opted out ” of traditional employment. The funny thing was the timing of this article. Its been nearly a year since I took my “ leave ” to become a full time MOM , and was finally coming to terms with my decision. I mean, come on people, I am part of a REVOLUTION – “ opt-out revolution ”- m...

I just went to yet ANOTHER 50th birthday party. This time it was for a college friend that I reconnected with through FACEBOOK. We hadn’t seen each other since college, so there was a lot of “filling in the blanks.” She went around the table explaining to others how each friend was connected to her. As she did, she made mention how well we all had done by noting that “Deb” was a teacher, “Cathy” was an exec with Verizon, “Patty” was a high level government employee and “Norma” was an attorney. Like I said, it had been awhile since we last spoke – 3 lifetimes ago. The “filling in the blank” hadn’t yet started. I didn’t feel like this was the moment to correct or explain where I REALLY “WAS” today. Actually, I didn’t want to, PERIOD . Who’s to say I will ever see these people again, and why go through the explanation. But, if the situation was different, and I was sitting with a group of neighbors being introduced for the first time, would I have found the NEED to explain? Better q...

SO, ten years later, and I am once again faced with another sudden shift in direction. As I am in the midst of apologizing to whomever is asking as I explain my current change in employment (or lack there of), most responses range from – “that’s great that you can do that", “this is the time your kids need you the most”, “you’re doing the right thing", “you won’t realize it now, but your kids will be better for it". The problem is, those responding are working. NOW I feel the PRESSURE IS ON – my success will only be measured by my childrens’ success. I’ve succeeded ONLY if they have succeeded. The problem with this is that you can’t compute this success in dollars and cents. It’s an arbitrary measurement that won’t be realized for years to come. For someone who likes instant gratification, that’s a hard pill to swallow. We let our nanny go in October of last year after 5 years. It was time for STRATEGY CHANGE. We were bringing in the “BIG GUNS” – MOM. As background, our...